Hi I’m in desperate want of a child. My girlfriend and I Are unable too find reliable donors.
Hi I’m in desperate want of a child. My girlfriend and I Are unable too find reliable donors.
i like many other have great genes; i have been told all my life i dont look my age. my parents both had good genes/beautiful skin/ etc. my father never took any meds until his last two yrs of his life and passed at the age of 84; his parents lived into their 90’s
An Australian man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple has been told by a court that his name must be removed from the child’s birth certificate.
A court in Sydney ruled that the birth mother’s former partner had the right to have her name on the certificate, even though the couple split in 2006.
Expressing sympathy for the father, the judge said he had no contractual right to be registered on the certificate.
The man, who shares parenting, said it was “a very bad day for fathers”.
Speaking outside the district court, the 58-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, said he was devastated by the ruling.
“She’s not my daughter as far as the law is concerned. The laws are totally inadequate, there are no laws to protect people like me,” he said.
It is thought to be the first time that a sperm donor in Australia has had his name forcibly removed from official documents, says the BBC’s Phil Mercer in Sydney.
The father had responded to a newspaper advertisement by a lesbian couple seeking help to conceive a child.
A baby girl was born in 2001. The mother’s partner said she wanted her name on the birth certificate to avoid “confusion with schools, hospitals and government departments”.
Although he expressed sympathy with the man, Judge Stephen Walmsley said the sperm donor had no parental rights under Australian law.
“As (the sperm donor) concedes, there was no agreement before the birth that he would be on the register when he agreed to donate his sperm.
“I have considerable sympathy for (the man) – he has done what he considers has been his very best for the child,” the judge said.
Find sperm donors at Co-ParentMatch.com
A website set up for children of sperm donors has found that a number of “superdads” may have fathered dozens, sometimes hundreds of children, according to the New York Post.
The non-profit group, Donor Sibling Registry, tracks children who may share the same father.
Wendy Kramer, who started the online registry, said a donor in Virginia sired 129 children and counting. Another donor, in the Boston area, has been traced to 72 children, said Kramer.
There is no limit on how many banks a donor can sell his sperm to, about 21 percent of donor dads have given to more than one, according to Kramer.
“Donors are screened so that the most fertile get selected, because high sperm count and good motility are most likely to produce a pregnancy”, said Albert Anouna, director of Biogenetics and Sperm Bank of New York.
High-performers who are responsible for many pregnancies are the ones in high demand by women.
Todd Whitehurst is one of a handful of donor dads who has connected with his children. Whitehurst knows of nine children he has fathered but believes more could be out there.
The 45-year-old medical engineer said when he was a cash-strapped college student, he donated weekly for about three years, for $50 a visit, at a clinic on the Stanford University campus in the 1980s and ‘90s.
One biogeneticist said statistically speaking, Whitehurst could be the father of 42 to 60 children.
Source: MYFOXDFW.COM 20th June 2011
Ever since I was a little girl I’ve wanted a big family. I’m from the UK and my parents split up when I was three and I was an only child until I was 11, when my first half-brother was born. I’d always had this fantasy that having lots of children would be wonderful.
I married when I was 24 but as time went on, our relationship deterioriated and I left when I was 30.
Unfortunately my second marriage also broke up within a few years, before we had a chance to have chilren.
I hoped that I would meet someone else but, with time ticking by, I started to panic that I was heading towards the end of my fertility, so I began looking into various options.
Egg freezing was too expensive and had limited success, andIVF seemed too dramatic, with all the drugs involved. Then in 2006 I got into another serious relationship and assumed this to be the man I would have children with. When it suddenly ended, I felt as though the ground had been ripped from beneath me.
Eventually I found a fertility clinic willing to treat single women. In 2008 I had my first attempt at IUI (intrauterine insemination) using donor sperm, and was thrilled to become pregnant. I never expected it to go wrong, but soon after I had a miscarriage.
I was devastated, but my way of coping was immediately to try again. I had three more unsuccessful sessions of IUI at the clinic, but I was so uncomfortable with how little information they could give me about the donors that I started to wonder if subconsciously this was stopping me getting pregnant.
By this point I had spent more than €12,000 on treatment. Despite being 45 at the time, the specialist said that my eggs were better than many a 35-year-old.
At first I had no idea that there was an alternative to the clinic, but then in September last year I came across a website that offered to match women with potential sperm donors.
I have done a lot of internet dating over the years so, although this had an entirely different purpose, I put up my profile and photo. I discovered that some donors offered artificial insemination (AI) — the syringe method — and others “natural insemination” (NI); in other words, sex.
My immediate preference was AI: it seemed neat, clean and clinical, but as time went on I became more open to the idea of NI. From researching the subject, and from the donors’ stories on the site, I believe that you are far more likely to conceive that way. But I knew I’d have to meet the donor first to decide. All of them claimed to be doing it for altruistic reasons, but I’m cynical enough to realise that many simply wanted free sex.
One guy I met, Seamus*, wanted to be a full co-parent. He was fairly attractive in his photo and seemed intelligent, so I agreed to meet him. I met him three times before we did the AI. He came to my flat six times over the five days I was ovulating.
I found the whole experience traumatic. It was weird having this guy masturbating in my bathroom. He didn’t feel comfortable doing it with me in the flat, so I’d have to walk my dog around the block about 300 times until he texted me to say that he’d finished. Being handed this specimen pot was disgusting. I did conceive, but immediately miscarried. In a way it was a relief, because I never wanted to see him again.
After that I was reluctant to do AI again and started to move towards natural insemination. I reasoned that sex is the natural way and for animals the purpose of having sex is procreation rather than pleasure.
Then in October last year I found the website co-parentmatch.com, which is for women looking for sperm donors or co-parents.
I received 50-100 messages from potential donors, but I replied only to seven. Some sites ban all mentions of NI, but with this one you are allowed to tick it as a preference, although it recommends taking your donor to a licensed fertility clinic.
One donor who stood out was Paul*. He was 33, single and had joint residence of his two children by a past girlfriend.
I liked that he was an involved parent and he said that he wanted to help others who couldn’t have children. Over several emails I made it clear that I couldn’t decide about NI until we met. I bought an AI kit just in case. Paul met me in a pub. We spent three hours talking about ourselves.
It felt partly like a date, partly like a business meeting. Eventually he said: “OK, I do have to go back to work soon, so what’s the verdict?”
I told him that I still didn’t know if I could go through with it, but that we’d go back to my flat. I’m not sexually promiscuous and even on a first date with someone fantastic, it’s unlikely I’d sleep with him straight away, so this was a big deal. But once we got to the flat I thought: “I’ve come this far, NI is so much simpler and more likely to work than AI.”
Of course, it still felt odd to have sex for the purpose of getting pregnant with someone I had just met. Until the last second I wasn’t sure if I could go through with it. I was battling my own desire to say no with my goal to become pregnant.
Sensing that I was still unsure, he said, “Let’s make it like a normal date”, and then I kind of relaxed into it. I was on autopilot at first but, surprisingly, the sex turned out to be quite good. It was a bit like having sex with a friend.
Afterwards, he quickly showered and put on his suit and we thanked each other profusely, which I found funny. After he left, I felt euphoric, thinking: “That was so easy.” I invited him back the following night, just to make sure that it worked. It was still pretty awkward the second time.
When I found out a few days later that I was pregnant, I was thrilled. To my amazement, an early scan showed that I was expecting twins. Then at eight weeks I had a miscarriage.
I focused on this being the farthest I’d managed to get in a pregnancy. To make it to eight weeks felt like a big step forward. When I emailed Paul to say that I’d miscarried, he replied saying: “Sorry to hear that, good luck.”
I’ve had a few months off, and now I’m emailing two other donors. Once I’ve met them, I might consider NI with them. One is a blond, blue-eyed man who lives in Montreal.
The other is a Danish guy in his twenties, 6ft 4in, and seems articulate and intelligent. I’m prepared to travel to meet them.
I still hope to meet Mr Right and have children with him. I’ll be honest about my experiences and if he’s the right man he’ll understand. I’d be honest with my child, too — children appreciate love and honesty.
I know that some people might find it hard to understand what I do. My mother was shocked when I first told her. My father doesn’t know. I do care what others think, but I won’t let that govern my decisions.
Not having a child, when all your friends are married with children, can be socially isolating. I just hope one day I can become a mother too.
* Some names have been changed
Source: Emma Elms The Independent http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/single-and-desperate-to-have-a-baby-i-slept-with-a-sperm-donor-2635300.html
Sitting in her basement den, 12-year-old Danielle Pagano looked expectantly at her parents as they walked into the room.
Their body language was awkward, she recalled.
“There’s something we need to talk to you about,” said her mom, in a serious tone.
The next few sentences made Pagano’s head spin: Her dad was not her biological father. Instead, she was the product of donor insemination.
“They said they’d had fertility problems and used an anonymous donor,” recalls Pagano, a 22-year-old international relations student from Seaford, L.I.
The soon-to-be teenager took the news badly.
Yelling that she’d been “lied to all my life,” she locked herself in the bathroom and demanded to be left alone. Two hours later, only the promise of a trip to the pet store coaxed her out.
“I was angry they’d kept it secret for so long,” says Pagano, whose story is followed in the new documentary “Donor Unknown” being shown at the Tribeca Film Festival. At Paganos’ request, her parents’ views were not included in the film.
“I have no idea why they chose that particular time, but they said they hadn’t told me before because I was too young to understand,” said Pagano. “But it’s not true, because when you explain things like that to a child, you modify your language so they can understand.”
Over the next few weeks, she tried to absorb the information and wondered, almost to the point of obsession, who her biological father might be. An only child, she constantly daydreamed about possible brothers and sisters. How many were there? What did they look like?
A few months later, Pagano searched through an old chest, found a faded sheet of paper and discovered her biological dad was known as “Donor 150.”
The sheet was his profile with California Cryobank, and included his height (6-foot-1), hair color (blond), eye color (blue), weight (163 pounds) place of birth (Delaware) and, in a handwritten note, a summary of his interests, including yoga, drama, music and philosophy.
“He mentioned a love of animals, which really leapt out at me,” she says. “Unlike most of my family — but like all the siblings I eventually found — I am crazy about animals.”
Pagano began to search on-line. Behind her parents’ back, she signed up with the Donor Sibling Registry, a nonprofit website that puts children like her in touch with one another.
The first time she logged on, she found a match. JoEllen Marsh, from western Pennsylvania, was also a daughter of Donor 150. A year younger than Pagano, she had lesbian parents who had been open about her conception.
Source: Jade Riley NYDailyNews http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/2011/04/28/2011-04-28_donor_unknown_chronicles_reallife_children_of_anonymous_sperm_donors_in_tribeca_.html?r=entertainment
Co-ParentMatch.com wishes Natalie and Ashling the best of luck with their brilliant new same-sex fertility clinic.
A lesbian couple are to open Britain’s first gay-only fertility centre.
Natalie Drew and Ashling Phillips, who have two children by a sperm donor, said they decided to set up a centre exclusively for gay people after their own experiences in trying to start a family.
The Gay Family Web Fertility Centre opens its office on Monday in Birmingham where it will ‘match-make’ potential parents with sperm donors, egg donors or surrogates
The couple say that there are not enough resources for same-sex couples because much of the current advice is focused on heterosexual couples.
Miss Drew, 35, said: ‘One lady we spoke to was having trouble conceiving, but she was told that she wasn’t eligible for treatment because she hadn’t had sex with a man within the last 10 years.
‘Most of the GPs will try to be progressive, but they will refer to the person carrying the child and not the partner, which makes them feel excluded.’
The couple started the fertility centre online in 2007. Following a surge in demand they have decided to set up an office, with a nurse to carry out blood tests and other checks, and a counsellor to provide support from conception to childbirth.
Miss Drew and Miss Phillips said they had suffered problems when trying to conceive their daughter Gianna, five, and son Kai, two. Doctors had asked them to bring the father in for tests, she said, which was difficult because he lived in London.
Miss Drew said she was made to feel alienated by the process because Miss Phillips, 32, was carrying Kai and staff addressed her as the mother, rather than including both of them.
She added: ‘A lot of the criteria is outdated and hasn’t moved with the times. Some couples were spending thousands of pounds going through the process and were no further forward.
‘We wanted to set up something where we would act as a go-between and where couples could meet potential donors face-to-face to work out how they would work things out. We also want to save people from having to explain their situation: that they are gay and using a donor.’
The service helped 60 couples last year and costs £9.99 a month, with extra fees for tests and consultations.
The project has been criticised by Christian groups
Mike Judge, of the Christian Institute, said: ‘Kids need a mum and a dad, a male and female role model. This is denying that.
‘This clinic is more to do with the desires of adults rather than the best interests of children.’
Miss Drew said: ‘There is a lot of research to say that children brought up by same-sex couples are just as happy as children from traditional families.
‘We have had a bit of hostility, more from different gay groups that run similar centres who are a bit hostile because we’ve stood up and said that this needs to be exclusively gay.’
A Home Office spokesman said: ‘The law is very clear: someone who is providing a service cannot refuse to serve somebody on the basis of their sexual orientation, but in this case they can market themselves as a same-sex fertility clinic.
‘However, if a straight couple were to approach them for help, they would not be able to refuse to serve them.’
The pair say they would not turn away a heterosexual couple, but the clinic’s priority is people in same-sex relationships.
MICHAEL LINDEN was a 26-year-old student in the spring of 1977 when he walked into a fertility clinic in Melbourne and donated his sperm. A friend had told him about the process, but he had not put any serious thought into it.
”I should have known better, really,” the 59-year-old retiree said. ”It was just a bit of a lark … They paid you $10, which was a little bit of money in those days.”
He thought little of it until 2001, when he was contacted by what he calls his ”donor daughter”.
Anxious men who donated sperm anonymously many years ago began contacting fertility clinics yesterday, sources said, after a Herald story on a legislative amendment by the state government allowing it to request identifying information about donors.
Furious doctors have called on whichever party wins the state election this week to rescind the amendment to ensure the privacy of the donors.
A spokeswoman for the Health Minister, Carmel Tebbutt, said the amendment would remain, as it did not violate the privacy of anonymous sperm donors.
“The privacy of donors and offspring is not compromised by the amendment because the director-general [of the Health Department] cannot release or disclose the information except with the consent of the person whom the information identifies,” the spokeswoman said.
The Greens MP David Shoebridge said anonymous donors would feel threatened by the department forcibly obtaining their details.
”The fact that this happened without any consultation … remains a real concern,” Mr Shoebridge said.
The law should be rescinded, he said. ”People need to have some certainty in their lives when they make important personal decisions like becoming a donor, and this certainty is lost if governments later decide to change the law retrospectively”.
The Opposition spokeswoman on health, Jillian Skinner, did not provide the Herald with her position on the law.
After the contact with his donor daughter, Mr Linden discovered he had fathered five children.
Three of them remain unknown to him – one to a couple in north-east Melbourne, another to a family in the inner suburbs, and a third to family from NSW.
”My three lost daughters,” he calls them.
But despite a positive relationship with one of his donor children, and the belief that donor data should be freely available, Mr Linden believes sperm donation should be illegal.
”It’s still a very fraught situation. You’ve had kids who have met their donor and the whole thing has gone sour,” he said.
”Even in the increasingly open climate that we’ve got now, it’s still not an ideal way to bring children into the world.”
This article was supplied by Sydney Morning Herald http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/sperm-donors-worried-over-identity-law-change-20110321-1c3wp.html